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Waiting for the transfer window to close is like sitting in front of a grandfather clock, listening to the rhythmic comfort of its ticking as Test Match Special plays off to the side. But when bad light stops play, you realise that all the action is going to happen, as it always does, in the window’s final days and hours. That’s what months of negotiation and speculation ultimately boils down to – and, anyway, who ever produced anything good without the pressure of a deadline? It’s what pushed Ronaldo to return to the traditional home of the armchair. It’s what might push Kurt Zouma to us. One, perhaps two, other clubs will have happy fans, but most will grumble and weep into their glass of Stella or IPA. Twas ever thus. Meanwhile, there’s an international break to tolerate (England vs Andorra at 5.00pm on Sun 5/9, if you’d forgotten). Tick tock.
**SATURDAY**
MANCHESTER CITY vs ARSENAL (1230 ko)
This meeting of erstwhile buddies has no room for nostalgic charity. Pep needs the points for his challenge for the title, while poor old Mikel Arteta must be wondering if it was really such a good idea to have left the security of Pep’s side in the Etihad dugout. But we all make mistakes in life. And all that’s a long-winded preamble to predicting what even a half-educated football fan knows with indisputable certainty will transpire here today. The only question is, how much blood will be let? Home win.
ASTON VILLA vs BRENTFORD (1500)
It’s not clear which Villa we’ll see this season – the one that did so well last season, or the one that narrowly avoided relegation before that? Brentford will do well to emulate the latter and already have a win and a draw under their belt: valuable points and a highly encouraging start to life in the top league. The Bees will fancy adding to their tally this afternoon. Draw.
BRIGHTON & HOVE ALBION vs EVERTON (1500)
In a nothing-better-to-do moment, it may be tempting to see this as a kind of paper-rock-scissors game. Will the Seagulls swallow their sweet visitors with the ease of a sardine, or can the Toffees catch their hosts in a sticky mess? Expect a game of strategy and discipline, with few chances, and goals, if any, scored on the break. Draw.
NEWCASTLE UNITED vs SOUTHAMPTON (1500)
A well-deserved point for the Saints against Man U last week, followed by an 8-0 walloping of Newport in midweek, will have boosted the self-belief of Hassenhutl and his charges no end. Matters probably don’t feel quite so rosy on Tyneside, with the Barcodes having accumulated nil points from two league outings so far. The home crowd are a funny lot – in some ways, not far removed from us in their understanding that support will be profusely offered until the limit of their patience is reached. It’ll be up to the visitors to test that limit if they’re to leave the Northeast with something in the bank. Draw.
NORWICH CITY vs LEICESTER CITY (1500)
There’s no question that Leicester are a talented lot, even if their performance last week belied that totally. They now have a chance to dine at Delia’s table d’hote, which is likely to give succour to many more in the coming months. There’s something comforting in that. Away win.
WEST HAM UNITED vs CRYSTAL PALACE (1500)
A word of caution if you’re expecting, with good reason, for this to go to form. Of late, Palace have developed an irritating habit of scuppering our expectations. A draw here, a win there, a late goal or two to give us a passing yet uncomfortable dose of the heebie-jeebies. None of these were remotely deserved and all were achieved, at least in part, by a suggestion of Ironic over-confidence. So there should be no room whatsoever for complacency. The Eagles (anyone remember them being called the Glaziers?) are yet to find the back of the net this season, but could have done worse than a goalless draw with Brentford and a 3-0 defeat at the hands of minted title contenders Chelsea. But today they’re up against arguably the best West Ham team for years, an in-form side with multiple goal threats, high confidence and the chance to top the Premier League after three games – which many regard as a sensible juncture at which to take first note of the table. They have Zaha. West Ham expects. Home win.
LIVERPOOL vs CHELSEA (1730)
No doubt that this is a six-pointer. Two of the three top teams in the land will battle for more than bragging rights. Whatever your opinion of these sides, this is lip-smacking writ large. With fortune found, the two will cancel each other out. It’s hard to separate them – perhaps home advantage will be the only difference. But perhaps not. Draw.
**Pick of the Championship:**
CARDIFF CITY vs BRISTOL CITY (1230)
After defeat to Swansea last week, the Robins may not be so keen for another Welsh encounter so soon. Cardiff have made the better start, which looks likely to continue. Home win.
DERBY COUNTY vs NOTTINGHAM FOREST (1230)
Derby have five points from four games. Forest have none. Home win.
MILLWALL vs BLACKPOOL (1500)
The tangerine dream will turn into marshmallow pie if Blackpool don’t get their arse into gear sharpish. Where better to start? Away win.
PETERBOROUGH vs WEST BROMWICH ALBION (2000)
The Baggies have their attempted return to the top division off to a decent start. Posh have managed a point a game so far. That’s not going to improve tonight, is it? Away win.
**SUNDAY**
BURNLEY vs LEEDS UNITED (1400)
Most neutrals would infinitely prefer to watch Leeds than Burnley. That’s the only thing that redeems this fixture. Yet for all their aesthetic shortcomings, the hosts have discipline. And for all their flair, the visitors are frail in defence. Which, to be fair, actually gives this a modest blast of intrigue. Draw.
TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR vs WATFORD (1400)
Harry Kane is reported as being “committed”, presumably in the motivational rather than a psychiatric sense. Some may cruelly consider the source of that motivation to be high frustration at the colour of the shirt he continues to wear. The Hornets are, without doubt, in a familiar battle for Premier League survival. Will that be sufficient motivation to take the game to Spurs? It’s hard to see. Home win.
WOLVERHAMPTON WANDERERS vs MANCHESTER UNITED (1630)
The final Premier League action before 9/11 pits a depleted Wolves – currently top of the pointless mini-league – against a side that’s invested heavily and will expect to be among the contenders for third spot come May. Man U unexpectedly dropped two points at St Mary’s last week and won’t want to see that repeated today. Who wears No 7? Away win.
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